Supporting your daughter through her exam season

Exam season can be challenging for the whole family, not just the student. As pressure builds, many parents find themselves wondering how best to help; how to support organisation without taking over, encourage effective revision without constant reminders, and keep their teenager motivated, healthy and balanced.

It’s not always easy to strike the balance.

In this guide below, we share practical, evidence-based insight and advice, taken from Tooled Up Education, to help you support your daughter through this upcoming exam season.

Get organised

The first step is to ensure your daughter is familiar with the exams ahead; how many there are, what are the dates, the topics, and exactly what does each one require? Here is an exam planner that could be useful to have it all this information in one place. Go through the schedule with her, making sure she can confidently explain what she needs to produce for each one. Be as granular as possible thinking about the marks she might need and the timings for each part of the exam. To help with this, here is a list of questions to ask your daughter.

In addition to this, contact your daughter’s teacher(s) to access past papers or if your daughter seems unsure what an exam requires. It can also be helpful for parents to look at previous papers in subjects they feel confident with themselves: this gives the best insight into the demands and "load" of exams.

If your daughter requires extra time, a laptop or further assistance when taking her exams make sure that these arrangements are in place well in advance. The more comfortable and prepared your daughter feels on the day, the easier and calmer the experience will be for her.

Creating the right environment at home

Remember that study leave is a new experience for most students and their parents! Teenagers need parental help creating an environment and a routine that will help them to prepare. Think about the space in which your daughter will study.

• A dedicated study space that is well-lit, quiet and with room to spread out.

• Keep resources within reach. Pens, notebooks, textbooks, calculators, chargers etc should be readily available so there is no reason to get up unnecessarily and lose focus. 

• A distraction-free environment. Phones, gaming consoles and constant notifications are the biggest barriers to focused revision. Instead of banning everything, agree on boundaries such as using apps that block social media during study sessions.  

• Think about food during study time. Regular meals, snacks, hydration, enough sleep and short breaks (even a quick walk) improve memory and concentration, so make sure your daughter is looking after herself in this way.

Outside of studying, we know that exercise has tremendous health and well-being benefits that are relevant for improving study. Good quality leisure time is also important for mental health. Help your daughter find a productive balance of work, breaks and leisure activities that she enjoys. This should be a team effort with all the family working together. And think about a sensible bedtime too!

As well as creating a supportive physical environment, it’s just as important to foster a calm and positive atmosphere at home.  Young people often pick up on parental anxiety, which can heighten their own worries, so keeping your concerns in check and maintaining a steady, reassuring tone can help them feel more confident about what lies ahead. Try to talk about exams in an encouraging way, presenting them as a normal and useful part of life. While they can feel daunting, they also give your daughter a chance to demonstrate everything she's learned. 

What does good revision look like?

Help your daughter set concrete, detailed goals for each period of revision. "I'm going to revise History today" isn't a good target. Think about an outcome instead, produce notes on a certain topic and complete a practice question for example. To help with this, here is a 'smart reviser' guide. 

Dr Kathy Weston from Tooled Up also suggests utilising the "protégé effect" when revising. Even in areas where parents lack knowledge, encouraging students to explain particular topics to them can help assess their own knowledge, discover any gaps and is proven to help with retention. Teacher and examiner Patrick Cragg says, "If they don't know a topic well enough to talk about it in the kitchen, they don't know it well enough to write about in an exam!"

Helping students to find the particular areas in each subject where they feel less confident can help with exam anxiety. A student who feels anxious about "Maths" might have one particular topic that they feel confused by. Parents can help by going through each topic in a particular paper and asking how confident their daughter feels with each, trying to locate sticking points and perhaps referring these back to their teacher.

That said, don't ignore the areas where your daughter feels more confident. Use her familiarity and success with those topics to boost her self-esteem and confidence. The marks to be gained from building on existing knowledge can be just as valuable as those from filling in gaps.

What are the signs of unhealthy stress and anxiety?

Whilst its normal to feel nerves ahead of exam periods, it's important to notice signs that your daughter is really struggling to cope. 

• Your daughter is not engaging with the process of exams or revision, or not engaging with family or peers. This could be a warning sign that something is wrong: they are not in a healthy study habit. Withdrawal can indicate a sense of threat and powerlessness and an unhealthy fear of failure.

• Your daughter feels that she has to work at all hours with no break. Exams are a marathon not a sprint! Help her to set realistic goals for each day that are sustainable through the exam period.

• Ineffective study. We know that stress impairs cognitive function and long-term retention, so if your daughter feels that she is studying but nothing is being retained then you need to help her reconsider her study habits.

For further help with your daughter's anxieties during this period, this webinar, called 'Dealing With Exam Stress' by Dr Kathy Weston and Patrick Cragg shares advice and strategies that can help you manage your daughter's stress levels (and your own!) and help her feel prepared and ready to face exams with confidence.

For even more information to help support your daughter through her exams please click here. Some of the information linked above is only available for those with a Tooled Up account, if you haven't yet registered, please click here.